Monday, September 27, 2010

The Inappropriate Touch

There are these couple of guys that come in pretty regularly. Older men in about their late 60's to early 70's. They are incredibly demanding and condescending to all the servers and they always boast about how much money they have and then barely tip. Well for whatever reason, they took a liking to me and started requesting me every time they came in. Lucky me, right? Not so much.
They drink pretty heavily, one of the men drinks makers mark old fashions and the other red wine. They'll sit for hours drinking all the while growing more inappropriate and then begin to hit on me. One thing about being in the service industry is that no matter how vile, obnoxious or much of an asshole you are I still have to smile and be nice to you. These old men will never know how much I want to punch them square in the face every time they touch me on the small of the back or ask for a kiss. They are like 70 and I am 24... in what Anna Nicole alternate universe do they think that I would actually enjoy and welcome these gestures? To add insult to injury sometimes they will bring in their wives and do it right in front of them which makes me feel 3 times as dirty because I look like I welcome it from my lack of punching them in the face. They'd get drunk and offer to pay for my school and invite me to wait on them at private functions at their home (Yeah right, if you act like this in public I really want to go to your house where you can really let the old and creepy hang out).
It boils down to this. I am a waitress. I am not your personal escort for the duration of your meal. I did not put on this apron to shake it for you at the table. If I wanted to do that line of work well then I would have gotten into that line of work. Trust me though it would be a lot more expensive than the 20% gratuity on your old fashions. And no you can not touch me, kiss me, pay for my school or have me go to your home you old bastards. Eat your f***ing food, pay the bill and go home to the sweet little age appropriate lady who for god knows what reason agreed to marry a sleazy pile of creepy like you.

Lesson #2: Well, don't inappropriately touch your server

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